I have decided to seduce my wife. I will focus all of my sexual energy on her with the express purpose of getting into her panties as often as possible.
Sounds pretty easy, but it isn’t. It is about the hardest thing in the world to do. My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have known each other for over thirteen. That is almost half my life.
At some point, over the decade we have been together, our relationship has lost its eroticism. We are not lovers anymore, not in a real sense. We have manual sex from time to time, but it is not like it was in college. I fucked her in an elevator once, between classes. There were people right outside the door! Now I am lucky if I can talk her into pity sex during the commercials breaks in Desperate Housewives. We lost our passion in the sum of kids and a house and working. Time took it, but we let it go. I don’t even remember fighting for it.
After our first kid was born my wife was very depressed. Post partum issues are common, but this was an entire year. Oh course I handled it like an ass. There was constant fighting. For my part I was scared and confused and hurt. We were young and neither of us knew what depression was. We suffered through it, but our relationship was never the same.
I like to fit my emotions into little compartments. I want this one, I hate that one, you are my friend, I want a hamburger – little thoughts and feelings neatly packed into self-contained storage lockers in my mind. The part of me that ties it all together is missing. I don't have apathy and I have never loved something unselfishly. I view people as objects and I measure their worth in the gain or lose they can provide to me.
Giada was different. I disregarded all my rules and chose to love her. I never built a compartment for her, not until after the baby was born. Then life got to out of control and I did what I have always done. I turned off my emotions and built a nice neat place to stick my feelings. The thing about compartments is that creates boundaries.
It has been 10 years and I am completely disconnected from my life. My days pass, one the same as the next. Get up, go to work, come home, and go to sleep. Start over again the next day. I need an adventure and I have decided to make that adventure the seduction of my wife.
There are other alternatives. My uncle spends his day looking at porn. Hours of masturbation directed at women he could never have. On the occasions I have looked at porn (hard to not look at internet porn when you are online 20 hours a day) and I find it ultimately useless. Fantasy only goes so far. So the next logical step is to find a new woman to fuck. But even that comes with complications.
I work with a guy who started an affair with a younger woman. It was exciting when he was with the new girl. The rest of the time was like being a spy working in a hostile country. I am proud of my tradecraft, but I can’t imagine the effort involved in maintaining cover and long term operational discipline is fun. That really only leaves one alternative – to turn my wife back into the girl I knew in college.
The following blog will be the chronicle of my experiment. Is it possible to undo 13 years of history? Can a 30-year-old mother rediscover her latent sexuality? Can I rediscover my passion?
Tune in to find out…
No comments:
Post a Comment